


To Be Determined

by Rigze



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types
Genre: Drama & Romance, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-24
Updated: 2017-07-24
Packaged: 2018-12-06 04:19:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,239
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11592792
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rigze/pseuds/Rigze
Summary: In just one night, everything they know will change. Whether it's for the better or worse, though... well, that hasn't been decided yet. That part depends on how they decide to pick up the pieces.





	1. -1-

"Sayaka, are you done yet?"

Ah, the golden question. The very same golden question I've been asking for the past two, count them, __two__ hours. Sayaka Maizono is already gorgeous in my humble opinion, so I'll never begin to understand why exactly she needs to take two hours to "get ready."

"Just about…! There!" She lets out a sigh of relief from beyond the door. "Phew! I thought that would never stick! That's the last time I buy off-brand eyelashes!"

I roll over on my stomach and prop myself up on my elbows. Sayaka's bed is too plush… I almost fell asleep. "Why would you even need fake eyelashes?" I ask, stifling a yawn. "Yours are already super thick!"

She lets out a laugh. "Silly Makoto, that's because of the mascara! There's no way I could use that tonight… There's going to be dancing at the party, and there's nothing worse than makeup in your eye!"

I grimace. That __does__ sound like it would suck. "How hard were you planning on dancing!?"

Rather than answering my question, she just laughs. "Forget about that! Take a look! What do you think of my outfit?"

She opens up the door with a flourish, revealing… how she looks normally. Her usual outfit is replaced with a pink tank top and denim shorts, but that's the only difference I can make out.

"Oh, is it too much?" She sighs, eyeing herself up in the mirror. I guess I took too long to respond. "Maybe I should ditch the pink gloss and go with a clear…"

"N-No!" I quickly shake my head. "No need for that! I think you look as pretty as ever! It's just…" I sigh, feeling my cheeks warm slightly. "I'm just not the best at noticing makeup… You look pretty no matter what you put on!"

"D'aw… Makoto! You're too sweet!" She blushes a bit, causing my heart to do little flip-flops. "I guess I'll have to take your word for it! Shall we head out?"

I shove off the bed, checking my phone for the time. "May as well. We're already an hour late."

"Which means we'll be right on time!" She cheers. She slings a small bag over her shoulder, stopping in front of the mirror one last time. "No one ever shows up right as it starts; that's just an unspoken rule."

I stretch, following her out of her room. "So… why is this party a big deal, again?" I fish around my pocket for my keys. "It doesn't seem like it's that special. People throw parties all the time."

"Ah-ah! This one is different!" She stops short in the hall, turning to face me with a smile. "A bunch of my friends that I haven't seen in forever are going to be there, and it's been planned for __weeks__! It's a guaranteed good time!"

I sigh. "Sayaka, why are you taking __me__ though? I'm not going to know anyone there…"

"Don't be such a stick in the mud, Makoto!" She chides. "As college students under legal age, this is as close to the nightlife as we can get! Not to mention…" She leans in close, causing my face to heat up. "It wouldn't be as fun without you."

"It so would!" I poke her in the cheek. "You just want me to drive you around, you turd!"

"At least I'm a pretty turd! But say, Makoto… " She giggles again, closing the distance between our faces once more. "If you really end up disliking it __that__ much… we could always do other things when we get back here, you know?"

Without saying anything more, she turns down the hall and runs out the door, cheerfully calling me a slowpoke. I let out a shaky breath and follow her, making certain to lock the door to our shared apartment on my way out.

* * *

It only took me about fifteen minutes to drive us to the address given for the party. To be truthful, I didn't even need the address once we were in the neighborhood; the party was so noisy, so __bright__ , that we could see it from blocks away.

I can feel Sayaka practically vibrating with excitement from her seat. "Ohhh…! This is going to be amazing! C'mon Makoto, park the car!"

"Hang on, hang on…" I choose to park a little ways away from the party. It may not be the fanciest car, but that doesn't mean I want some drunken asshole to puke on it. "Okay, let's-"

"Let's go!" She squeals, cutting me off. She doesn't even wait for me to stop the car fully before she hops out of it.

"Wait, Sayaka!" I slam the door shut behind me and chase after her, pausing for just a second to lock it.

"Such a slowpoke!" She taunts. "A girl is __beating__ you, Makoto! Step it up!"

"You got a head start!" I jeer, running after her. "Besides, the party isn't going to get up and walk away! Calm down a little!"

She stops and sighs, facing me with a pout. "Makoto, why do you need to make sense all the time? It's no fun!"

I rub the back of my head. "S-Sorry…"

"Oh stop." Sayaka flicks my ear. "That straightforward personality of yours is what makes you adorable."

"No man wants to be called adorable by a woman, Sayaka!" I grumble.

"But you so are!" She pecks me on the cheek before she runs off again. This time, I end up chasing her all the way to the door.

* * *

This.

__Sucks._ _

As I expected, Sayaka ended up ditching me to go talk to her friends as soon as she caught sight of them. I knew this was how it was going to be from the start, but it doesn't make this suck any less. Sitting alone on a couch, going completely unnoticed by all the strangers who are having the time of their lives right now. One of the grinding couples knocks into the end table next to me, causing a lamp to tip over and shatter.

Ugh.

I stand up, deciding to make my way over to the kitchen. It's not like I can get wasted like everyone else since I need to drive… but that isn't going to stop me from raiding their snacks.

The area is relatively calm compared to the rest of the house, oddly enough. People are just lazing around, grabbing whatever it is that they may want from the fridge or otherwise. I end up wandering over to the counter when I see that they have mozzarella sticks.

After several minutes of mindless eating, someone approaches me from the side, leaning up against the counter next to me.

"Got stuck as DD, huh?"

I glance up. A scruffy man with insane hair is standing next to me, easygoing smile on his face. I nod. "Sucks. Nothing worse than going to a party and not being allowed to party, ya know? Course you would; you're living the nightmare."

I shake my head. "No, that's not the part that bugs me so much. I'm not much of a drinker… I just hate being stuck here."

"Gotcha." He scratches his beard. "Knew somethin' was fishy… I didn't recognize ya at all. Yeah, I'd be pretty bummed to if I was stuck with a bunch of people who knew each other. Who dragged ya here?"

"Sayaka did." I answer, stuffing another cheese stick in my mouth.

"No shit, really?" I nod. "Man, how'd __you__ end up with a babe like that?"

I swallow, doing my best to ignore the man's incredulous look."...Well, we're childhood friends. Went to the same middle school, split up during high school… and just kinda kept in touch the whole time. Now we live together."

He nods, almost in a sagely way. "I get it now. You guys are totally a thing."

"N-No!" I quickly shake my head. Sayaka hates it when people call us a couple. "Well, not officially anyway. We definitely do things a normal couple would."

"Oho, she's always the same. Such a free spirit." The man shakes his head. "Anyways, m' name is Hiro. I was a year ahead of her in school… kinda how we met."

"Wow, really?" I smile up at the guy. "My name's Makoto, by the way."

"Makoto, huh? Nice name. Powerful." He nods again. "Well, it sucks that I'm the one that has to tell you this Makoto, but lil' Sayaka was __dating__ in high school. I hope you guys weren't talking then."

I shake my head. "No… we didn't get to be much more than friends until we started college. It's fine."

"Good!" He grins, letting out a sigh of relief. "Man, do I hate having to deliver bad news. It's always a real bummer, you know?"

"I definitely know." I laugh. What an easy guy to talk to.

He gives me an appraising glance. "Say… I think I know another wallflower that you might just get along with! Come with me!"

Without waiting for my response, he snatches up my wrist and stalks out of the kitchen. We end up on the well-lit patio that leads to the backyard.

"H-Hey, why are you dragging me around like this? Who am I meeting?"

He turns back and winks at me. "Just a friend from one of my classes! She came here on a date, and she kinda got the crap deal you did! It'll be fun!"

I can't help but feel like I'm being used by Hiro so he doesn't feel guilty, but I don't mind. I'm just happy that I'm not the only one who got ditched.

"Where on earth…? Oh!" He finally finds who he was looking for in the mass of people. "Hey, Chihiro!"

A girl wearing a ruffly green dress turns around as he calls her name. Short, honey-blonde hair, hazel eyes… adorable is really the only word that comes to mind when I see her. A genuinely cute person.

"H-Hello, Hiro." She smiles slightly. "Who is this?"

"This," He makes a dramatic gesture towards me. "Is Makoto! Fellow DD, and he was also ditched by his significant other!"

I give the girl sort of an awkward wave. "Hey."

"Now, I gotta keep policing my pad." Hiro chimes, turning around. "Need to make sure none of the good stuff gets broken!"

Once he's off into the crowd, I can't help the words that escape me. "Jeez, he owns the place? He looks like a couch surfer for sure…"

The girl next to me, Chihiro, laughs. "H-He is, in a way. He's babysitting the house while his parents are gone."

"Now __that__ makes sense." I turn to face her fully. "So… your boyfriend dragged you here?"

She nods and sighs, resting her elbows on the railing. "Yeah, but… it was supposed to be a date. I-I didn't expect him to run off as soon as we were in the house."

"This isn't exactly my ideal either." I move to join her, watching people's drunken antics over by the pool. "My kinda-girlfriend dragged me here so I could drive her home… I just __love__ being a taxi. Beep beep."

She laughs as I make a honking gesture, but quickly sobers. "What do you mean by "kinda" girlfriend?"

"Ugh…" I feel a frown slip it's way on my face. "I don't know, really. We've been living together for about six months now, and yet… she still refuses to make it official. It stings."

"S-Six months!?" She gasps, clearly shocked. "Y-You mean, you even moved in before it was official…?"

"Well… it's a little complicated." I scratch the back of my head. "I've known her since middle school, but we'd only really started talking romantically a month before she moved in with me. Her parents wanted her out, so… she just ended up asking me if I would mind living with her."

Chihiro nods. "I get it… finding affordable places to live without a roommate is difficult. Still though…" She puffs out her cheeks in thought. I can't help but think how cute the gesture is. "Seven months of dating is a very long time… f-for not being official, I mean."

"Preaching to the choir…" I cross my arms. "Sometimes I think she's just jerking me around, but… we've known each other for so long. I don't think she has it in her to do that, you know?"

"Well..." She looks like she wants to say something, but she holds back. "Never mind. I don't have any room to talk, really."

"Oh?" I know I shouldn't pry, since we just met and all… but I can't help wanting to know more. "What do you mean by that?"

She leans up against the post. "…I guess it's only fair for me to share a bit. My boyfriend and I met in high school, okay? It wasn't until right before graduating that he asked me out… and I rejected him at first."

"Woah, really?" I'm shocked, to be honest. She doesn't seem like the kind of person to outright reject someone. "What made you change your mind?"

I see her bite the inside of her cheek. "W-Well… I didn't reject him because I hated him. It was the opposite, actually! There was just… something holding me back, at the time. If I'd agreed to date him without telling him about it… well." She shakes her head. "Long story short, I ended up being forced to tell him about it after a while. He just wouldn't take no for an answer."

I let out a low whistle. "Sounds rough. How'd he react to it?"

"E-Eh?" Chihiro looks surprised for a second, almost like she'd expected me to ask something else. "Well… he was shocked, at first." She smiles, but it quickly shifts to a frown. "He ended up getting over it pretty quickly, and asked me out again as soon as he told me that. I was happy at the time, but…"

"But?" I urge.

"H-Hey!" She tuts. "I've said enough already…"

"Jeez, just as it was getting good!" I pout. This gets a laugh out of her.

"Okay, how about this…" She smiles up at me. "We take turns giving information about ourselves. S-So it's fair, you know?"

"Sounds fun!" I motion over to one of the unoccupied tables. "Let's get settled in then; I have a feeling that we won't be getting out of here any time soon."

I sit down in one of the chairs, Chihiro plopping down on the seat across from me. I lean back a bit to get a better look at the night sky.

"Where to start…?" I mull it over for a bit. "Ah, okay! I'll just pick up where you left off."

"What do you mean?" She asks, tilting her head slightly.

"You'd said before that you were happy at the time, right?" A nod. "Well, it's the same for me. When Sayaka and I started "dating," I was on cloud nine. I'd had a crush on her for years! After a while of living together and going through all the couple stuff, though… I just started feeling like it wasn't right."

She leans forward. The look on her face is telling me to continue.

"Ah, man… how to explain it?" I can't help the frown that works it's way onto my face. "She says that she feels the same way I do, but I'm just not seeing it! It's not just because she refuses to call me her boyfriend either; it's her entire attitude. I feel like she's keeping me at arm's length… if that makes sense."

"I kind of get it, I think…" She puts a finger to her lips in thought. "I actually have the opposite problem. My boyfriend… he can be clingy. O-Overly so, for our kind of relationship! If he even sees me talking to another guy, he'll throw a fit!"

"Your kind…?" At this question, she blushes a bit.

"Y-You see… we've been dating for over a year now! Pretty much since we started college. E-Even then, he still hasn't… made a move." Her head hangs a bit at this.

"Made a…" It takes a minute for the gears in my head to click together. "What, __really!?__ A whole year without him asking for it…? That's insane!"

"Y-You don't have to react like that!" She buries her face in her hands. "I'd thought we'd finally gotten past this point, and yet…!"

"You guys have at least kissed, right?" The question comes out without much thought. I instantly regret it when she jumps.

"Of course we have!" Chihiro fumes a little over this, but quickly calms down. "I-I would have given up a long time ago if he refused to do that…"

"That's something, at least!" I try to sound positive as I say this. She frowns.

"W-what about you, huh?" Chihiro points a finger at me. "Have __you__ guys done anything?"

"Er…" I look off to the side. I guess I brought this on myself. "Yeah, actually. Pretty often…"

She looks dumbstruck. "…Seriously?"

"Hey, I said we did all the couple-y things!" I feel a little sheepish because of the sheer awe on her face. "Is it really that surprising?"

"N-No, but…!" She lets out a soft sigh, looking dejected. "I just don't get it… I know our relationship isn't exactly normal, but why does he keep me on such a short leash if he isn't interested? It's not fair!"

"Hey, you never know!" I feel a little flustered. That sad look on her face is like a dagger to the heart. "You said you had something that made you reject him at first, right? Maybe he's got issues he's too embarrassed to bring up!"

"You think so?" She asks, perking up slightly. "I-I always thought that the issue was with me…"

"It's possible." I nod to myself. Nice save. "I'd ask him about it sometime if I were you. Like you said, he wouldn't be so clingy if he didn't like you! If you cleared up your problem with him, then there just might be something on his end!"

"I… I hadn't thought about it like that at all!" She smiles and straightens up. "Thanks a lot for the advice, Makoto!"

The way she's beaming at me makes my heart skip a little. How a guy could net a girl this cute and leave her on her own? How could he refuse to touch her? It seems criminal, in a way.

"No problem!" I glance back towards the kitchen, standing up once I make up my mind. "Okay, no more of this relationship pity-party. That's no way to start a friendship! How about I grab us some snacks, and then we can focus on talking about the normal stuff?"

She nods, small smile on her face. "Alright, I'll be waiting!"

* * *

We talked, alright. We talked a __lot__. While everyone around us was getting rowdier and rowdier, we sat in our own little bubble, talking about whatever came to mind. Family, friends, interests… we talked about everything and anything without any lulls. Without realizing it, we'd talked into the wee hours of the morning.

"I mean, Hiro is cool and all, but he's so noisy during class!" Chihiro looks like she's pouting a bit. "One time, the professor kicked the both of us out because he decided to braid my hair while he was giving a lecture. It was the worst!"

I try and fail to stifle a laugh. "How can you braid someone's hair noisily?"

A small smile works it's way onto her face. In spite of her earlier annoyance, she seems to be fond of the older man. "He was cursing and complaining because he didn't have a tie. Apparently he was proud of his work, or something."

"Man, he sounds like a riot." I glance around. "Do you know why he decided to throw a party all of the sudden?"

"Oh, well actually… no." She puts a finger to her lips in thought. "Hiro just kind of told me one day after class. I insisted I wasn't coming, but Mondo wanted to come as soon as he heard about it."

"Mondo?" I snap my fingers. "Boyfriend, right?"

Chihiro nods, closing her eyes with a sigh. "I really should have said no. I have a project I need to turn in for work tomorrow… it's already so much later than I would have guessed."

"Why not just tell him you're going to leave, then?" I ask. We'd both made a pointed effort to keep our relationships out of the conversation, but I can tell this is weighing on her a lot. "I'm sure he could find his way back."

"No, he can't…" She frowns. "He was already buzzed when we got here. "Pre-partying" is what he called it… I-I wouldn't feel right leaving him all alone."

I screw my face in thought. "That doesn't sound too fair to you, though. Why don't we just go find him? I'll help you get him into the car."

She starts a bit. "E-Eh? Really?"

"Well yeah!" I stand up and stretch. "It can't be that hard if he's drunk. It'll be fine!"

"M-Makoto, he's really big!" Chihiro rockets up, chair making a loud screech as she does. "I don't think you'd be able to…"

I shake my head. "I'm not as weak as I look, promise! It'll be okay!"

For some reason, my words seem to stop her short. "I… I didn't mean to call you weak. He may just be too much for us to handle."

I feel my eyebrow raise at the sudden stormy expression on her face. Is he… is he a violent drunk, or something? "We'll get Hiro to help us if he gets to be too much, okay? I won't push it."

She hesitates. I see the doubt in her eyes, but she nods anyway after a moment of consideration. "I-I guess it'll be fine."

"Great!" I cheer. I fish around my pocket for my phone. "Here, before I forget… let's exchange numbers! It'll be hard to do it once we start carrying him off, so…"

"W-What? Really?" Chihiro brightens up considerably at my request. "You'd want to hang out again?"

"Well yeah!" I sheepishly rub the back of my neck. I hadn't even considered that she wouldn't want to. "I mean, only if you'd like. I just had a lot of fun talking to you, so..."

"Of course I'd like to!" She reaches into her skirt pocket and grabs her phone so quickly that she almost drops it. I hand her mine, and take hers, quickly typing in the digits I'd learned by heart and handing it back to her. She smiles down at her phone once she has it back.

"Your boyfriend won't be mad, right?" I ask, suddenly remembering her dilemma with him.

Chihiro puffs out her cheeks in a pout. "H-Hey! I said he was jealous, but that doesn't mean I'll let him tell me what to do! Besides… Makoto can be a girl's name too."

I flush in indignation. "It so can not!"

She giggles. "I'm just teasing… It'll be fine. If he asks, I'll just tell him that you're dating someone! T-That's how he was okay with Hiro and I being friends…"

I can't help but feel slightly scandalized at the idea that the scruffy man I'd met earlier would be able to date anyone. Deciding to not press it, I simply shove my phone in my pocket. "Hey, who knows? Maybe we can meet up and talk when he isn't wasted. No better way to get rid of doubt, right?"

"I-I suppose…" Chihiro glances around. "Where do you think we should start looking?"

"Near the booze, duh." I grab her wrist in an effort to make sure that we don't get separated in the sea of writhing bodies dancing around us. I feel her jump ever so slightly, but the tension quickly leaves her arm. "That seems to be the most likely place for someone looking to get drunk, right?"

* * *

It's funny to me that so many people can crowd together in such a tight space without showing signs of discomfort. Chihiro and I split up to look around after we deduced that her boyfriend wasn't clinging to the booze table set up in the kitchen. She took the back yard, while I looked around the first floor of the house. After finishing my search, I go to our designated meeting spot: the stairs.

"M-Makoto!"

I glance over to see Chihiro forcing her way through the front door. The look on her face tells me that she was about as successful as I was.

"D-Did you see anything?" She asks letting out a mute sigh. "T-There's no way he's outside… he'd be easy to spot if he were horsing around out there."

I shake my head. "No, I didn't see anyone fitting the description you gave. That hairstyle seems like it'd be hard to miss."

She glances past me up the stairs. "Then… there's no other option, right? He's got to be up there."

"Awh man…" I grimace. "Let's just hope he can still walk straight. Wrestling dead weight down a flight of stairs sounds horrible."

She mirrors my discomfort, starting up the stairs regardless. "L-Let's just hurry. It's almost midnight."

I follow her up. The second floor is a lot less crowded than the first, with only a few people scattered around the hall.

"He must be in one of these rooms." I muse. "Unless you see him?"

Chihiro shakes her head, hair swaying gently with the motion. "N-No… Let's just check them all."

So we do. Guest rooms, rec rooms, bathrooms… we search them all. We found a few people passed out, a couple making out… but no sign of Chihiro's boyfriend.

Chihiro buries her face in her hands. "I-I can't believe they asked us to join them…!"

I laugh. "Oh come on. It's better than them screaming at us for walking in on them!"

"S-Still!" She sighs, stopping in front of the last door. "O-Oh, forget it…! This is the last room, right? What do we do if he isn't here?"

I tap my chin a little in thought. "We could always flag Hiro down and ask him to help. Maybe he saw him? Let's not worry about that until we check in here, okay?"

She gives me a meek sort of nod. I reach for the knob and twist it, opening the door wide enough for both of us to see inside.

My heart drops to my stomach at the sight that greets me.

"Mmm...! Y-Yes! Don't stop...!"

The very man Chihiro described to me is laying on the bed, with a woman perched on top of him. Even though they aren't naked, it doesn't take a genius to see that they're having sex; panting, grinding, bouncing… they're both so into it that they haven't noticed us standing there.

"Shit..." The man growls. "You're tight, so tight...!"

I feel dizzy, nauseous even. I can't help the horrified feeling that works it's way into my chest at the sight of it.

Not because we caught the man who Chihiro claimed to cling to her blatantly cheating, oh no. While that's bad enough on it's own... that isn't what's making it so hard for me to breathe right now.

It's because of the woman who is so happily riding him. A woman who, not hours earlier, implied we'd do the same thing once we got back to our shared apartment.

Sayaka.


	2. Chapter 2

It's Sayaka.

That same phrase repeats over and over again at lightning speed in my head. Every fiber of my being wants to reject what I'm seeing, to somehow justify that it could be someone else… but I know it'd be pointless.

Because it's her.

I feel the presence beside me vanish, effectively bringing me back to reality. I whip my head around to see Chihiro bolting down the hall, not making a sound as she does.

Oh no.

I hesitate for only a second before chasing after the girl. Even though I'm still reeling from my own revelation, I can't just leave her alone like that! If I learned anything about Chihiro while we were talking… it'd be that the girl is a gentle soul. Delicate.

Someone whose world probably would shatter if she saw her boyfriend having sex with another girl.

I end up catching up to her at the bottom of the stairs. Not because the sheer amount of people inside the house slowed her progress, like I'd initially thought… but because she's just standing there.

"C-Chihiro…" I try to find the right words to say, to find __something__ that would magically make everything alright… but I can't. I put a hand on her shoulder, only to notice that I'm shaking as I do.

"I…" She croaks. "I-I'm not crazy, right? That happened?"

"...Yeah. It did."

Tears start welling up in her eyes. To her credit, she seems to be trying her best not to break down in front of everyone… but who knows how long that'll last? I whip my gaze around the room, trying to think of a place for us to get some privacy.

"...Let's head out back." I suggest. "There's a pool shed out there."

The only sign of her agreeing is the rigid, almost twitch-like nod she gives me. I gently grab her wrist and pull her through the crowd. We pass the kitchen, the deck, the pool… all the way back to the shed. I open the door and peek inside, thankfully finding it to be unoccupied.

I open the door and pull us in, carefully closing the door behind me. A slam would surely have gotten some drunkard's attention.

As if waiting for this moment, Chihiro busts out into a fit of sobs. I debate for a moment on turning the light on, but I quickly rule against it. Instead, I feel around my pockets for something- __anything__ \- that she can use to wipe her tears.

"God, why…?" She gasps. "I… I didn't see this coming at all! After everything, __everything__ that we've been through…!"

Chihiro slides to the ground, quickly burying her face in her knees. I move to sit next to her after giving up my search.

"Why couldn't he just dump me…!?" Her shoulders jump with every sob that escapes her. "Anything would have been better than this! If he'd just told me upfront that he couldn't stand to be with me, then…!"

"Hey!" I do my best to keep my tone as soothing as possible. "There's no way this is because of you…"

Chihiro shakes her head, pulling her legs closer to herself. "I should have known he was never really okay with me… He was just too nice to break it off. He __pitied__ me…! T-That fact hurts so much more than anything else…"

"No way…!" My voice comes out harsher than intended. "He __cheated__ on you, Chihiro! You can't justify it! If anything you told me earlier is true, then he's the worst! clinging to you, but still willing to go out and do that with other women…? It's crap, and you know it!"

She starts trembling. I'm not sure if it's because what I said or not, but Chihiro is borderline hysterical at this point; she tries and fails to start a sentence a few times before simply giving up. Not knowing what else to do, I place an arm around her shoulders, pulling her to me.

"...!" She jumps. I'm about to let go and apologize, but Chihiro lets go of her legs and practically flings herself into my chest. Because of how close we are, I feel her small body jump with every silent sob she lets out.

Neither of us say anything for a long time. As my gaze wanders around the moonlit shed, I try to think about what I'm going to do about Sayaka… but my thoughts keep traveling to the small girl curled up next to me. As she cries her heart out, I can't help but feel worse about her situation than I do about mine.

She and that man were a __real__ couple. Had they talked about their future together? Met each others families? To have that level of commitment to someone else, only for them to go and do that… I genuinely can't begin to understand the pain she's going through.

Which is strange, thinking about it. Sayaka always made it clear that we weren't a thing, and yet I still can't help but think this counts as her cheating on me. Even knowing that… I don't necessarily feel hurt.

After the initial shock wore off, I can only feel __numb__ about my situation.

But Chihiro… she's so profoundly hurt by what happened that she's clinging to __me__ , a simple acquaintance, in an effort to find some comfort in this completely messed up situation. I genuinely hope that she doesn't plan to stick around for long after she cries herself out… she needs to get away as soon as possible.

I start rubbing her shoulder when she starts hiccuping. She looks up at me, eyes red.

"I… I'm sorry. I got your shirt wet." Chihiro rasps, reaching up to wipe more tears away.

"It's fine, it'll dry. That's not important right now…" I stand up, turning back to offer her a hand. She hesitantly takes it. "What does matter is getting you out of here. Do you think you can drive?"

"W-What? I can't leave yet!" She quickly shakes her head. "I can't just…!"

"Chihiro, no!" I can't help the horror that works it's way into my voice. "You're not seriously going to wait around to drive him back!"

"W-We live together…" She lets out a shaky sigh, on the brink of another crying fit. "I'll have to see him eventually, so-"

"Not tonight, though!" I grimace. "Don't you have a friend's place you can crash at…?"

Chihiro glances away from me for a moment before turning back. "No…. n-not someone who wouldn't ask what happened, at least."

A wave of silence washes over us. I see her trying to think of something to say, so I end up blurting the first thing that comes to mind.

"...Then come stay at my place."

"E-Eh?"

The suggestion catches both her and I by surprise. Even though I haven't told her about Sayaka's involvement, and that said girl could show up at home any time… I can't help but feel like this is the best plan. She certainly can't be left on her own right now, and if she really doesn't have any other place to go…

"W-What?" Chihiro's shock is clearly written on her face. "You'd let me…?"

"Well… yeah." I nod. "If you're scared about me pulling anything funny, we can go tell Hiro where you're going. I just don't like the idea of you having to deal with this alone tonight… You don't have to, of course!"

After a moment, she shakes her head. "…I'd really appreciate it, actually…"

I breathe out a sigh of relief. "Great! Let's get going then; we can stop by a gas station on the way over for snacks!"

"W-Wait!" Chihiro catches my sleeve. "What about my car? And Sayaka! Is she really going to be okay with this?"

"...We'll worry about all that later! Let's go!" I offer her what I hope is a reassuring smile. Chihiro still looks a little hesitant. "Sayaka can catch a ride with one of her friends! It's fine, I promise!"

"Well… okay." She nods, rubbing at her eyes again. "I-If you say so…"

* * *

We left as soon as I was able to track down Hiro and tell him where she'd be. She didn't seem to care whether or not we told him, but I still preferred to be sensible; what if someone went looking for her?

Naturally, Hiro was curious about her state. Even though we promised to explain when we came to get her car, he still insisted on us telling him. The only reason we got by unscathed was because I was able to tell him my phone number while Chihiro was getting her bag out of her car.

A short trip and a snack run later, we're both standing in front of my apartment door. Just in the nick of time too; a crack of thunder rings out as soon as I get my key in the door.

"Rain…" Chihiro lets out a soft sigh. "How fitting."

I bite back a grimace and finish unlocking the door. I hold the door open for Chihiro to enter before locking it shut behind us.

I flick on a lamp in the living room area and set our snack bags on the coffee table. "Go ahead and make yourself comfortable, okay? I'm going to change and grab a few blankets. Do you want some fresh clothes, or…?"

She looks ready to refuse for a moment, but grimaces when she looks down at her dress. "…I'd be grateful for something else to wear."

"...Right." I turn around and hurry into my bedroom, not wanting to keep the downtrodden girl alone for too long. I yank off my jeans, pull on a pair of sweatpants, grab a baggy t-shirt and shorts for Chihiro, and pull the comforter off my bed as quickly as I can.

"Okay, so…" I round the corner back into the living room. I toss the comforter on the couch, right next to where Chihiro is sitting. "I know the shirt is going to be __huge__ on you, because it is on me, but I really hope the shorts aren't too big. They're an old pair from when I was in middle school."

She stands up and accepts the clothes from me, looking at them thoughtfully. "Why would you keep something that doesn't fit…?"

I let out a nervous laugh. "I dunno? I've gotten rid of most everything else from back then, so I don't really have a good answer! Its just been one of those things I've kept in the back of my drawer, I guess."

"So strange…" Chihiro lets a small smile work its way onto her face, but it quickly falls away. For some reason, this makes my heart wrench.

"R-Right, so…" I gesture behind me to the hallway. "You can use the bathroom in the hall to change! I'm really sorry if its messy; I doubt Sayaka put away any of her makeup before we left…"

I feel a small twinge of guilt when I mention her name to Chihiro, who nods and walks off towards the hall. I'd wanted to mention Sayaka to her on the way home, but… I just couldn't bring myself to do it. I'll definitely need to do it as soon as I can.

God forbid she comes home before then.

I flop down on the couch and whip out my phone, deciding to give Sayaka a call. It unsurprisingly goes to voicemail. Shaking my head, I type out a quick text to her:

****We need to talk before you come home. Call me.** **

I'm honestly not disappointed by her lack of response. I don't even know what I would have said to her if she __did__ pick up…

"This is such a mess…" I let out a sigh as I lean back into the couch, fixing my gaze on the ceiling.

…I can't think straight.

I end up spacing out until I hear the bathroom door open. I sit up, greeting Chihiro with a smile as she walks into the living room.

"Better?" I pull the comforter off her side of the couch so she can sit. "I can find something else if that isn't comfortable."

"N-No, this works just fine." She shakes her head, hair swaying with the motion. Chihiro's eyes are still red from her crying earlier. "…Thank you, Makoto."

I beam at her. "No problem! So, what do you want to do?"

"..." She falls silent for a moment. "I'm not sure, honestly…"

"Take your time." I pop up off the couch. "You want anything to drink? We have Coke, Sprite, sparkling water… tap water."

"O-Oh, uhm…" She looks a little nervous asking, playing with the end of the shirt I lent her. "…I-I wouldn't mind a Sprite."

"Coming right up!" I walk over to the fridge and grab her requested drink, along with a can of Coke for me. When I get back to the couch, she has her knees pulled to her chest. "Here."

"T-Thank you…" She smiles for a brief second before it falls from her face. "Do you… mind if we talk? I feel like I need to vent a little."

"Not at all." I sit down cross-legged on the couch and face her. "Go for it."

"I…" Chihiro lets out a dejected sigh, picking a random spot on the floor to stare at. "I feel like such a fool, Makoto. I-I knew there was a rift between us, but I thought we were getting better. I thought… I thought we had a chance at being together. I guess this is what they call being "blinded by love….?" How pathetic." She shakes her head. "Makoto… what should I do? I… I need to break it off with him, right? That's what most people do when they get cheated on…"

"Personally…" I flash on Sayaka, feeling a slight pang of… something. An odd emotion I can't place yet. Even so, it doesn't change my answer one bit. "Personally, I would end it. Its a matter of respect Chihiro. Its one thing to have relationship issues, but to go so far without even trying to talk it out…"

"...Funny thing is, I did try to talk with him about it. I-I even worked up the nerve to come onto him a few times." She sniffles. I offer her a box of tissues from the table, which she gratefully accepts. "Its not fair. I did my best, and it still… came to __nothing__ in the end. I almost feel like I wasted this entire year..."

"...Sometimes relationships aren't meant to work out, no matter how much you want them to." I lean over to put my drink onto the table. "I wouldn't beat yourself up too much over it, Chihiro."

"W-What do you mean?" Chihiro pulls her gaze from the floor to look at me directly. "Did you have an unrequited love, or something?"

"Not exactly…" I rub my face in my hands. Better now than when Sayaka comes home. "Look, Chihiro, I should have told you this sooner… but I didn't want to hurt you even more than you already had been. Back there, at the party-"

I cut myself off short when the entire room goes dark. "W-What the-!?"

"An outage…?" Chihiro sounds just as startled as I feel. "Oh no…"

"H-Hang on! Let me get a lighter and some candles…!" I stand up and start fumbling around the darkened apartment, trying to find whatever light sources I can. After a few minutes and several stubbed toes, I finally have enough candles lit for us to be able to navigate the apartment.

"Ugh… that was brutal. I wish I checked the weather earlier." I groan, flopping back down on the couch. I glance over and notice Chihiro has her face buried into her legs. "Is something wrong?"

After a moment of silence, I hear the tiniest of snorts come from her direction, which escalates into a full-blown giggling fit. I can't help but stare at her completely dumbfounded. "W-Why are you laughing!?"

"W-Why-" She holds up her phone as she stifles her laughter, making sure to click her screen on for good measure. "Why didn't you just use the light of your phone to find the candles?"

I stare at her for a beat or two before burying my face into the couch, which causes her giggle fit to pick up again.

"Man, how uncool…" I whine. "My brain is such a mess right now! I totally ruined the mood by being an idiot!"

Chihiro wipes a tear from her eye, trying to compose herself. "That's not a b-bad thing, really. Hasn't this entire night been serious enough already?"

In spite of myself, I laugh too. "Yeah, I suppose so."

We end up laughing for a bit before it eventually dies out, letting silence reign over the both of us. After a while, I feel her shift closer to me on the couch.

"Uhm… Makoto?" I look over to her. Chihiro is biting her lip, looking extremely nervous. "You said you had something important to tell me? About something at the party?"

I sigh. "I do, but… I think it can wait a little while."

"I'd, uhm… actually like to hear it. I want to get all the serious stuff out of the way." She fidgets a little. "You see… I need to tell you something important, too. It… it has to do with why Mondo and I never slept together."

"I thought we decided it wasn't your fault." I frown. "What could you have possibly done to keep him off you? If you don't mind me saying Chihiro, you're very cute."

"..." I hear her breath catch slightly. "I-I appreciate you saying that, but…! That… isn't the issue. Or, well… it is! M-Makoto, I want you to take me seriously when I tell you this, okay!?"

Chihiro inches closer to me again, making me feel a little nervous. "Uhm… okay?"

She heaves out a steady breath, clearly uncomfortable with whatever she's about to say. "Y-You have to promise not to tell anyone though. I-I'm not even one hundred percent okay with telling you this, but… I don't want another friendship to start out with a lie. T-That… and I feel like I can trust you."

I let the gravity of Chihiro's words sink in. Whatever she's about to tell me must be big. "What did you lie about, though…?"

In the dim light of the room, I can see her screw her eyes shut. "O-Okay, so…! I'm… I'm not a girl, Makoto!"

A beat of silence passes. Then another. I can only stare at her as I try to process what she just told me. It certainly sounds like a joke, but… she asked me to take her seriously.

"Uhm… what do you mean?" I ask, after a moment. "Like, a girl who thinks they're a boy, or something…?"

Chihiro shakes her head. "N-No! I'm a __boy__! A boy who thinks he's a boy!"

I end up staring at Chihiro again in an effort to process what she- __he?__ \- said. Apparently fed up with my gawking, Chihiro snatches up my hand and puts it to her chest.

"W-Wait, what are you-!?"

-And then I feel it. Rather, it's what I __don't__ feel that drives Chihiro's point home for me. Even girls with small breasts have some cushion to them, but Chihiro… has nothing. Nothing at all.

"Oh."

"D-Do you understand now?" __He__ pulls my hand off his chest as if it were a hot iron. "Do you understand why I rejected Mondo at first? Why, even after __insisting__ he was okay with me, that he wouldn't lay a finger on me?"

"C-Chihiro-"

"I-I'm a freak, okay?" He grinds out, moving as far away from me as he can. "M-My looks go way beyond effeminate! A-At first I only dressed like this because I was picked on for how small I am, but… it became a prison of my own design. No matter how much I wanted to tell people the truth, they'd reject me as soon as they learned about my real gender! T-That is… until I met Mondo."

He sighs, once again pulling his legs to himself. "B-By the time I reached high school, I'd given up on telling people about myself. Yet, he… Mondo still wanted to date me, even knowing the truth. It gave me hope that other people would accept me too… eventually. H-He did make me promise to keep dressing as a girl, but-"

"Hold on!" I blurt, breaking out of my stupor. "I get continuing to wear girl clothes while you guys were in that school, but what about college? Wouldn't that have been the perfect time to start being, I dunno, __you?__ New town, new people, etcetera?"

"...E-Eh?" Chihiro looks shocked at my outburst. "I-I mean, I suppose it would have been ideal, but… I don't think he wanted to be perceived as g-gay."

I frown. "I don't really know what to say about that, but… it's still extremely lame that he'd do that to you. Did you tell him you were tired of pretending to be a girl?"

"I did, but…"

"Then its not your fault that this didn't work out." I say with finality. "He knew what he was getting into when you started dating, and then he decided to ignore what __you__ wanted to do just to make himself feel more comfortable. It isn't your fault that he couldn't deal with it."

"Wha..." I hear his voice break a bit. "Why is it that you can accept this so easily…? You're not freaked out by me at all?"

I scratch the back of my head. "Honestly? Not really. I admit its strange, but… you're still the same person I met earlier. This doesn't really change much of anything."

I see him relax the slightest bit, opting to grab the blanket bundled up between us and pull it up over his legs. "S-So… do you think he's been lying to me this whole time? About having feelings for me…?"

"I can't really say without talking to him. Maybe its more of a brotherly love?" I grab my drink and take a swig of it. "I'm not going to pretend I know, because I'm really just saying whatever comes to mind at this point like an idiot, but I do think that he must care about you… at least a little bit."

Chihiro shakes his head. "I-I don't think you're an idiot… you're very thoughtful. I really appreciate everything you've done for me tonight…"

"I really don't mind. You needed the help!" I smile. "In spite of everything bad that's happened… I'm happy that we met."

"So…" He scoots closer to me. I'm having trouble telling what kind of expression he has in the dim lighting. "What was it that you tried to tell me earlier? I-I kind of got ahead of myself."

"...Right." I feel my heart sink. "Since we're putting everything out there now, you definitely deserve to know this. Just… don't get mad at me, okay?"

"I-I won't." Chihiro's hair sways gently with the motion. "You've been nothing but kind to me. Why would I get angry?"

"..." I close my eyes. "The person your boyfriend was, er… cheating on you with? I know her. Pretty well, actually…"

"...!" His breath catches. "W-Well, that has nothing to do with you! Just knowing the girl doesn't make you guilty by association…"

"I don't __just__ know her, though…" I look directly at Chihiro. "I really should explain… Chihiro, that girl was-!"

"Makoto? …Why are all the lights off?"

My stomach jumps to my throat. I whip my head around so fast that I can hear it pop. Standing in the doorway, looking just as prim as when we left earlier… is Sayaka.

I gesture to Chihiro, putting a finger to my lips in an effort to try and keep him quiet. He nods his understanding. As soon as he does, I stand up, making myself visible to Sayaka.

"There you are… jeez!" She lets out a quiet sigh, closing the door behind her. "You had me so freaked out! First you leave me stranded at that party, and then I get a vague text from you asking me to talk? I thought someone died or something!"

"Its nothing like that-" I shake my head.

"Then explain!" She steps up to me so that we're standing toe-to-toe. She looks angry for a moment, but that look quickly degrades into a sad one. "…You're mad at me for ditching you, right? Kiko told me that her boyfriend would be pretty steamed if she ran off to have fun without him…"

I can't say anything. After several beats of silence, she takes that answer as an affirmative. "Oh, so __that's__ it… I really am the worst!" Sayaka loops her arms around my neck and pulls me towards her, stopping when our lips are just inches apart.

"I'll make it up to you, okay? I know that was pretty crappy of me, so…" Sayaka lands the faintest of pecks on my lips, her breath hot as she whispers into them. "I promise I won't do it again… but I'd understand it if you'd want to __punish__ me a little, you know? I did promise earlier…"

The implications of her statement quickly jar me back to reality. The memory of what I saw her doing earlier springs to the forefront of my mind, making me pull her arms off of me with a little more force than necessary.

"Sayaka… I can't do this anymore."

One beat of silence. Then another.

"Makoto?" Sayaka looks completely baffled. She tries to reach out to me, but I take a step back. "Makoto, you can't be saying what I think you are! You're breaking it off?"

"...I am."

She stares at me for a moment before shaking her head. "B-But… why? We've known each other for so long…! Why are you saying this so suddenly!?"

"It isn't sudden!" I yell. "I always knew we had problems, Sayaka! You always hated it when I called you my girlfriend… I ended up accepting it because I thought we could eventually work past it, but now I know that just isn't possible. We were never meant to work out!"

"Explain this!" I see tears spring into her eyes, shining dully in the candle light. "You say that it isn't sudden, but we were fine before we left for the party! Tell me what brought this on!"

"Sayaka-"

"Don't you "Sayaka" me!" She screeches. "I won't accept this bullshit out of the blue, Makoto! What's the deal!? What did you-"

"I __saw__ you!" I point an accusing finger towards her, causing her to jump. "I saw you having sex with another man, Sayaka! In the bedroom on the second floor!"

She gapes at me. "W-What…?"

"You know what the worst part about it was? The person you were having sex with was __her__ boyfriend!" In my rage, I end up gesturing to Chihiro, whose watching us like a deer caught in headlights. Sayaka whips her head around to finally see the other person in our apartment. "Not a half-assed relationship like ours, either; they'd been together for more than a year, and they were __committed.__ I brought her back here in order to get her away from the situation, and yet here you are! You showed up without bothering to reply to me at all!"

"..." Sayaka falls completely silent, gaze drifting between Chihiro and me. I half expect her to start yelling at me for bringing him here, but…

"I-I didn't know…"

Sayaka is fully facing Chihiro now, with her back turned to me. "I… We'd been flirting and drinking together all night long… I don't even know his last name."

No excuses, no anger. Just the truth… short and bitter. The fact that she doesn't even try to deny it makes me feel sick to my stomach.

I can't even begin to understand how Chihiro feels about it.

"It… It just happened."

I quickly position myself between Sayaka and Chihiro. I can't let this go on any longer. "Sayaka, I want you to leave. Now."

She looks up at me, mixed emotions showing clearly in her pale irises. She opens her mouth to argue, but quickly snaps it shut. She brushes past me, shoots an unreadable look towards Chihiro… and leaves. Gone as quickly as she'd come, door softly clicking behind her as she exits without a word.

The only two indicators she'd ever been here are the faint scent of her perfume, and the horribly oppressive atmosphere left in the apartment.

"...I wanted to tell you before she came here." I'm straining to hear my own voice… for some reason, I can't bring myself to speak above a whisper. "I'm… sorry, Chihiro."

The numbness I felt earlier blossomed into anger so quickly… As soon as I saw her, as soon as she tried to act like she were coming home as usual… I lost it. I'd been so worried about Chihiro that I thought I was fine with my own situation, but that wasn't it at all.

In reality, I was just putting off the inevitable.

I want to cry. I want to yell. I want to do something to relieve this pain I thought I wouldn't experience.

And yet… all I can do is stand there. I can't even look at Chihiro. I can't even __move__. My eyes are rooted to the spot where I'd last seen the girl I thought I loved.

The girl I who I now know will never love me the same way.

"...!"

I'm broken out of my reverie by the slim pair of arms now circled around my body. When had he moved so close?

"I…" Chihiro has his face buried in my shirt, so his voice comes out muffled. "I'm so sorry… I hadn't even noticed your discomfort! I-I never even considered that she'd be the one who…!"

I place my hand on top of his head. His hair is soft. "You're not the one who should be sorry in this situation, remember? I brought you here without telling you."

"T-That's not the point… you're hurting."

I sigh. "…I wasn't until I saw her."

My shirt starts to dampen where he has his face pressed, and I start stroking his head in what I hope is a comforting way. We stand there for what feels like an eternity. Even though we don't say anything, the message we're trying to share comes through clear as a bell.

****It'll be alright.** **

* * *

Morning comes early and without mercy. I end up cracking my eyes open to meet the familiar scenery of my living room. I try to move to stand, but find myself pinned underneath something heavy.

I glance downward. Chihiro is curled into my side, sleeping soundly. His eyes still look a little puffy from all the crying he did last night.

I reach over my head to the end table and feel around until I find my phone. I click the screen on; its almost noon.

There's an unread text from about an hour ago. Its from a number I don't recognize.

__ey, u wana explain y u n' chihiro left last nght? i have her BF KOd on my couch_ _

It must be from Hiro. In my half-asleep haze, I decide to tell him the truth.

__Caught him cheating on her. We'll be by soon to get her car._ _

I set my phone down on the table again and pull the covers back over the both of us. More sleep sounds good.

* * *

I didn't wake up again until one o'clock, and that's only because I felt Chihiro start to stir next to me. He was a little embarrassed about having slept on me, but overall he seemed to be in a much better mood than when he went to bed. After a quick change and a short pitstop to pick up some lunch, we set off to pick up his car.

…Halfway through the drive however, Chihiro falls completely silent.

"What's the matter?" I ask.

I hear him sigh. "…I don't really know what I'm supposed to do when I see him, Makoto."

"Ah." I ended up telling him that Mondo was over at Hiro's once I woke up enough to remember the text I'd gotten that morning. "If you want, I can just text Hiro and ask him to keep him away from you."

"N-No! I…" I pull to a stop when we come up to a red light. Taking the opportunity, I look over to Chihiro. He looks nervous… but determined. "After seeing you and Sayaka last night, I… I don't want to let things sit as they are. If I can't tell him how he hurt me to his face… I won't ever be able to change. I-I need to be strong in this situation."

"...Right." I smile over to him. A loud honk startles me; it looks like the light is green. "I'll be close by if you need me though, okay?"

"Eh?" Out the corner of my eye, I can see Chihiro start slightly. "Y-You're going to stay?"

"What, did you seriously think I was going to split right after I dropped you off?" I laugh. "I don't actually have anything to do today, and I'd like to be around for you if you need anything. Er, only if its okay though! I can totally leave if-"

"Its fine." Chihiro lets out a small laugh. "I'm actually a little relieved that you offered... Are you sure you're okay with staying?"

"Absolutely!" I look away from the road long enough to shoot him a quick wink. "At this point, I'm pretty sure you're stuck with me!"

"Jeez… eyes on the road!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another one brought over! As I've said on FF.net, Mondo and Sayaka are absolutely not a thing! I thought the whole "drunken mistake" thing was kinda obvious, but I'll be doing my best to further clarify on their relationship during the next chapter! Cya then!


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